Writing

I've missed the last couple weeks of blogging, and I've only got a few minutes to meet the deadline for this one, so here goes.

I think my writing ability has temporarily dried up. Where I used to have ideas flowing out of my fingers in ink, I can no longer even set up a simple story line. I've even tried reverting back to some old writing exercises that have inspired short stories in the past, but even those aren't working for me right now.

So I've reverted back to the basics. Like, the absolute basics. The other day I wrote about a couple of kids looking for their dog. And it didn't really help.

But I refuse to back down or give up. I'll write until I get calluses on my fingertips.

I've also been thinking about going into some screenwriting....

Tests, continued.

With Monday approaching and nothing to write about, I've settled on writing about the experiment I've been conducting on my schooling recently.

You see, I've taken three exams in the last two weeks. For the first exam, History, I studied the material extensively for three days. I felt confident with the test, and I scored 76%. For the second exam, German, I reviewed the history and vocabulary that would be appearing on the test, and again felt confident when I took the test. I scored 84%. My final test, in Astronomy, was on Thursday. I didn't study or review any material at all, and I felt extremely confident with my performance. I haven't gotten the results yet. It will be interesting to see if my scores consistently increase with less study time.

Of course, these tests all varied greatly in subject. I'm certain that if I hadn't studied at all for my History test I would have failed, because I don't take to the subject as well as I do Astronomy.

A very unreliable experiment, but an interesting one to report on nonetheless.

Another "new" beginning, & Tests.

As I've recently chosen to pursue a career in writing, I've been making goals to prevent the drying up of my creative juices. One of these goals is to have a new blog post published by the end of the day every Sunday. Thusly, this is the beginning of what will hopefully be a long chain of weekly blog posts.

School started for the fall a few weeks ago, and I'm very glad to be back in the swing of things. After quitting my job in March, I had gone about five months without any sort of work or school. Call me crazy, but not only do I welcome the increased workload I'm also looking forward to something that most college students run from: Tests.

I don't need to tell you that tests aren't any regular assignment. They mark the progress we're making in our studies, and without them I'm certain education would be quite useless. But where most students see tests as an obstacle that's thrown in the way every few weeks, I've chosen to look at them from a different perspective.

Tests are my way of congratulating myself for a job well done. If I take the time to do all the assigned reading and homework, tests are usually a breeze. When I get a test back I get a feeling of well-deserved accomplishment seeing a high score at the top of the page. If I hadn't taken the time to study my the notes I took and read through my overpriced textbooks, I wouldn't have gotten that high score. Therefore, I don't see tests as an obstacle but as the moment where all my work pays off in the form of a good grade.

Naturally, this can be applied to all tests in life. Instead of seeing life's trials as something you have to get past before you can move on, look at them as a chance to show what you've been preparing for all this time. All of us have it in us to get past anything that's thrown at us, and when things get hard that's when it's time to show how well we've prepared.

Forgotten Writings.

Just read a comment that I received on some writing I submitted to a book contest website about eight months ago.

Subject: "Finish it."

"I am 63. Don't know how many times mortality crossed my mind either by facing the the threats that life offers or the despair it brings. The result of living beyond and the enormous reckoning that the next experience may not have been is the awe that life is. 9 pages is (as you did so well) a good tease, but I feel you have the "REST OF THE STORY" there somewhere. Go on and do it! Or at least keep trying."

Ha. I'd forgotten that I'd even written the short story.

Maybe it's time to give it a second look.

Foolishness.

In my never ending (yet meaningless) attempts to produce a bit of literature that could potentially be worth something someday, I've decided to write on my blog more regularly.  Or, I suppose, more often than once in a year.

For those of you that pay little or no attention to me, I was recently employed at Convergys, taking technical support calls for Comcast cable subscribers.  Needless to say, that wasn't something I was very passionate about.  Or -- for that matter -- something I cared about in the slightest.

So as of about four days ago I've moved on from that, and I'm now trying desperately to find another means of income before the next car payment is due.  Did I make a bad decision, quitting my job before I had another source of income?  Meh, probably.

That's what led me to spend a Grant (or half a Franklin, if you will) on a few new books today at Borders.  It's very probable that I could have saved some money (and time, and gasoline...) by shopping online, but there's really nothing like the feeling you get in bookstores, which seem universally to smell like coffee and paper these days.  Also, I had to see a potential future employer on the same block, so I saw no harm in stopping by.

After an hour or so of browsing, I bought a few new books on writing.  Ever since last October I've been trying turn out some meaningful -- if not earth-shattering -- literature.  Don't know if  You can tell, but it's not exactly working too well for me as of yet.  I've got a lot of starts, but pretty much everything I begin finds itself crumpled up in the virtual recycle bin on my desktop.

Hopefully this collection of  books I've bought today will provide some insight and ideas as to what I might try in my next weak attempt.  Which reminds me, I have to find out if USU offers a creative writing major...

Fear.

In my dreams I always just leave.  I have a recurring dream of flying to Germany without a plan and just staying there.  Funny thing is, I always know that I have to come back.  The other night I left, but I knew I could only be gone for a couple of days because I was waiting for a call from a potential employer.

I wish I could actually do that.  When I think of just leaving, I have way too many things holding me back.  I think the biggest thing, though, is fear.  Living in Logan I know that if things don't work out (which they haven't been) I can just go back to my parent's house.  But if I actually moved far away from home I have no guarantee that things would work out.  What if I did move to Germany?  Would I be able to get a job?  Or a place to live?  Is my German good enough to even get me around?

Trouble is, I want to leave.  I know that eventually I'm going to have to make it on my own, so why wait?

I don't want to stay, but I can't leave.

Today has been fun.

So I woke up this morning knowing I wasn't going to school because I had a really bad sore throat, and i could feel that something was kind of blocking my airway.

When I finally got up at like 7:45 I looked in the mirror to find my uvula swollen to rediculous proportions... so bad, in fact, that I can barely talk, barely breathe, and can't eat.

Luckily, my mom had court in Logan this morning so she was still home (she works at the court... she's not on trial), and she was able to get me to the doctor.

So I either have a REALLY bad case of strep throat or a REALLY bad case of mono (it's probably the strep throat).

Anyways, now I'm sitting in her office at the courthouse in Logan, waiting for her to finish in court so I can go get my sterriods and antibiotics. I'll probably be playing XBOX for the rest of the day once I get home.

Also, I found out that my dad had a minor collision with my sister's car this morning. Haha. Now he gets to pay to get my sister's car fixed... and it was just the type of minor collision that's going to cost a bunch to fix, because it tweaked (just barely) the entire right side of the automobile.

--Ivan